Awkward Moments

     I saw a quote recently that said, "Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another: 'What? You too! I thought I was the only one!'" (C. S. Lewis) So, I got one question that I want to make sure I'm not the only one in... Have you ever felt just plain awkward?

    Say, you and a person that you have barely met before are seated across the table from each other during a meal at a gathering. You are both enjoying (or supposedly trying to) the dinner of Sloppy Joe sandwiches. Neither of you are very talkative, so you just try to mind your own business--eating your sandwich. But with every other bite the sandwich remains true to its name--mostly due to the fact that you just got braces and are still getting the hang of eating with metal obstacles in your mouth. Pretty much, the whole time, you are thinking how you would SO not rather be there at the moment, and just as soon as you can make a dash to your 'forever pal', the words tumble out emphatically, "THAT was awkward!"

   You probably have that one (or more) person in your life that is just...well...a bit quirky--no, more like totally awkward. They seem to always be saying nonsense, acting like a chicken who can't get their act together, with a sense of "humorous" (or not so much) ditziness. What usually comes to your mind when you are showing your best friend around the school and "that person" comes toward you, once again doing his annoying antics? "AWKWARD!"

   Have you ever been performing, talking in front of a crowd, or anything else that had to do with being in front of people who are all sitting down looking at YOU, and something happened to make you goof up, fumble the ball, and flop "that one part"? What was your first response as soon as you stepped off stage and safely returned to the haven of your loyal friends? It probably sounded something like, "That was AWK-WARD!!" 

   We all make mistakes, mess up, and slip on key notes. But I remember the day my grandfather took me aside and reproved the "backward boasting". Backward boasting?? Wasn't that frank and honest humility in admitting my error? 

   Humility is essential. But what humility is NOT is drawing undue attention to the flaws of ourselves or those of others. There is nigh no extinguisher to the flame of inspiration, no squelching of noble challenge, no smothering of ignited passion like that of one who has "lit the fire" only to snuff it out, saying his "match got scratched". When the rubber meets the road, flaws will only be as big of a deal as we make them to be. Professional musicians know this to be true, stage presence is half of the presentation. This implies that the way a performer carries himself--whether it be with confidence and dignity, or timid skepticism of their own abilities--proclaims to the audience that he is either willing, prepared, and ready to give his best; or he is unsure if it is even worth his own effort.

   

   Mistakes will arrise in some form or another, but the downfall is when we continue dwelling on them even after it is all said and done. Those who succeed are not those who never make mistakes; they are those who, when they trip up, get back up and keep running, not looking back except to analyze what they could do better next time. The chain that binds good-intentioned folks from soaring is consistently belittling their achievements and becoming entangled with every little "oops!" to the point that they can never rise above their blunders to live life for what it was meant to be.

   

   Real life includes flops, embarrassing moments, fumbles and mis-haps, as well as complete failures. It happens to everyone. Not one person is exempt. But, there is a vast difference between those who make "ado about you" and those who use it as learning experience and quietly, simply, move on. Even though such things are sprinkled all throughout life, life is so much broader, so much deeper, far more important, offering much more potential than your hang-ups on mess-ups.

   The question is, do you really desire to make a difference in this world, living life to the fullest potential that you were created for? Or are you comfortable enough to sit complacently, chewing on your "awkward hang-ups" with your pals? If, deep inside your heart of hearts, you long to be free, to live to the hilt this life you have been so graciously given, which will only last but for a season, if you are passionate about rising above the norm, then heed the call of virtue.

Virtue, as Webster defines it, is: 

Acting power; something efficacious; excellence; or that which constitutes value and merit. 

   Virtue is strength applied with character for an intended purpose. What if our generation was more concerned about influencing the lives of others for the better than we are about our quirks? What if we were able to look beyond our minute flaws and see a world that is spiraling into darkness? What kind of world would we dwell in if each person had the strength and understanding to look past another person who is unsure of where he belongs in life, to see a fellow citizen in need of a listening ear, an encouraging word, a strengthening touch? Just what kind of people would we be if we had the maturity to put forth our best effort into everything we endeavored to do for the benefit of others, without dragging behind us the burden of lame excuses, petty annoyances, and frivolous hang-ups? Just think, what might this world look like? 

The choice is yours: will you choose awkwardness and complacency, or a life of virtuous ambitions?

"Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."

~ I Peter 1:13-16 ~   

His Heartbeat, My Own

"Delight thyself in the LORD; and He shall 

give thee the desires of thine heart."

~ Psalm 37:4 ~

     Far beyond our wishes, deeper than our wants, higher than our loftiest dreams, God has a plan for each one of us. For Him to give us the desires of our hearts means much more than merely granting our requests; it implies that He will develop within our hearts the desires that He intends for us to have and which He will fulfill. Ultimately, it is the essence of uniting our hearts to the heart of our Father. It is when we have drawn so close to Him that His heartbeat becomes our own---His will becomes our will, His plans become our plans, His desires become ours. 

     It has been said, "A woman's heart must be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her." I have often wondered about the application of such a statement, of how it is actually played out. Through the past months, the Lord has been deepening my understanding in that truth as I have sought a closer relationship with Him. No, it is not some mythical idea that is only good for "wise talk", neither does it require one to live a super-spiritual, isolated-to-God life as a Christian "nun" who can never enjoy the sweet pleasures of life. Instead, it offers that a lady who is truly delighting in the Lord and growing in her walk with her Savior will be a woman who inspires a brother in Christ to find his deepest joy and satisfaction in Christ before seeking to win her affection. 

     Recently, I was encouraged by the testimony of a Godly woman who truly lived out this truth. The story of how God brought Robert Wolgemuth and Nancy Leigh DeMoss together was deeply inspiring. My desire is that you, too, would be encouraged to seek first the kingdom of God, drawing nigh to Him, delighting yourself in Him and letting His desires become your own as you see how God so beautifully orchestrated the lives of two humble, surrendered servants, in His perfect time, to bring glory and honor to Himself. 

  ~Robert & Nancy~ 

Click on the link above to view their story  

The Three Sisters ~ Knowledge

"The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge." 

(Proverbs 18:15)

     Here, we have come to the third of the three sisters, knowledge. Reaching beyond mere intellectual "smartness", this knowledge is that which carves our habits, shapes our character, and determines our destiny. Rooted in wisdom and guided by understanding, it is the finishing element by which structures--both physical and relational--are built, established, and enriched. Without it, homes are destroyed, communities are disintegrated, and nations fall; for life becomes bleak, and the future meets us unprepared. 

So...what's knowledge?

 Knowledge ~ An educated perception of truth  

"A clear and certain perception of that which exists or of truth and fact." ~ Webster 1828

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7)

   

    Yes, this definition may seem more brief or concise than those of wisdom and understanding, however, such is knowledge--simply knowing the truth and what to do with it. It goes hand in hand with wisdom; it is the educated perception of the needs around, and is the tool with which one is equipped in order to successfully and adequately meet them. Wisdom is the right execution of knowledge. 

     Notice, the fear of the Lord is the root of knowledge, just as it is with wisdom and understanding. Without the fear of the Lord we will be unable have an accurate knowledge and understanding of what is true. Truth is not just philosophical, intellectual, or theological opinions; truth, in the frank sense of the word, is the reality of the way things are. Perhaps, we may discuss truth in a later post, but search the truth out for yourself--not just opinions, but the real, genuine truth (John 14:6).

~ The Value of Knowledge ~

"There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel." 

(Proverbs 20:15)

     Along with the gems, wisdom and understanding, that exceed the price of rubies, knowledge is as the sparkling jewels that provide added adornment within the crown of a virtuous woman. By knowledge, the virtuous woman could seek wool and flax, bring her food from afar, give good meat to her household, invest in vineyards, gird her loins with strength, have the ability to perceive the status of her merchandise, lay her hand to the spindle, and adequately reach out to the needs of her community. And, because of knowledge, she was not afraid when times got bad or circumstances became difficult; for she had the knowledge of how to make ends meet while still providing a haven for those she loved--even if it took some hard work and creativity. 

     Knowledge is the gate which opens the way for wisdom to work, and understanding is the pavement which makes the path smoother. Knowledge, through wisdom, turns a house into a home; and knowledge, by understanding, takes a surviving relationship and makes it thrive. Surrounding the precious gems of wisdom and understanding, knowledge is the adornment which brings practicality and makes life sparkle.

~ What Does it Take to Get Knowledge? ~

"A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth." (Proverbs 14:6)

    Proverbs 2:1-7 says, "My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly." 

     Getting knowledge takes earnest effort. It requires applying yourself to learn. No one can force knowledge upon you, though they can impart information; but you must open your heart to learn if knowledge will benefit your life. And the best place to learn it is from those who have it.  

~ Knowledge Applied ~

"I wisdom dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge of witty inventions." 

(Proverbs 8:12)

     Speaking practically now, knowledge enables one to find witty alternatives and ways to, not only accomplish difficult tasks, but, also, make simple tasks exciting. With the use of knowledge, a virtuous woman can creatively bring cheer to a dreary abode, make a humble dwelling a palace for the heart, and, by her loving disposition bring health and healing to the worn and weary. 

"Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches." 

(Proverbs 24:3-4)

     By knowledge, a virtuous woman will know how to fill her home with that which will beautify the simple, satisfy the hungry, comfort the weary, encourage lonely hearts, and enrich lives. By knowledge, she uses the skills and abilities she has learned and developed for the inspiration and edification of those the Lord brings through the doors of her life.   

"For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence:but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it."
(Ecclesiastes 7:12)

     Many can bring in a living, and many can display their confidence through great wealth and riches, but a woman who has the knowledge of wisdom in how to live will find a life worth far more than the abundance of gold and silver.  

~ The Necessity ~

"And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, 

and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure." 

(Isaiah 33:6)

     In our day in time, virtuous women of wisdom and knowledge are critically needed! Knowledge, as passed down from godly women of the past, is slipping quickly from our hold. At the rate the world is going, we are seeing more and more "silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning, and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth." (2 Timothy 3:6b-7)  Ladies, sisters, co-laborers, may we encourage you to strive for knowledge--not just any knowledge, but the knowledge of God which will enable us to wisely live the lives God has given to us. May it never be said of us, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge." (Hosea 4:6)

"And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ; Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God."

 (Philippians 1:9-11)

The Three Sisters ~ Understanding

"But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of 
the Almighty giveth them understanding."

(Job 32:8)

     "You just don't understand!" 

     "I heard exactly what you said, and you..."

     How many times have you been in that common scenario--struggling to keep your own side while proving to the other person that you "understand"? Sure, you might have heard every word they articulated, but did you truly understand them?

"The hunger to be understood. Few needs of the human heart are greater than the need to be understood--to have a voice that is heard, respected, and valued--to have influence. Most believe that the key to influence is communication--getting your point across clearly and speaking persuasively. In fact, if you think about it, don't you find that, while others are speaking to you, instead of really listening to understand, you are often busy preparing your response? The real beginning of influence comes as others sense you are being influenced by them--when they feel understood by you--that you have listened deeply and sincerely, and that you are open. But most people are too vulnerable emotionally to listen deeply--to suspend their agenda long enough to listen with understanding before they communicate their own ideas. Our culture cries out for, even demands, understanding and influence. However, the principle of influence is governed by mutual understanding born of the commitment of at least one person to deep listening first." (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey, Forward, pg. 10) 

"Let men of understanding tell me, and let a wise man hearken unto me."

(Job 34:34)

Understanding ~ The ability to comprehend the perspectives of others

    Webster defines understanding as "The faculty of the human mind by which it apprehends the real state of things presented to it, or by which it receives or comprehends the ideas which others express and intend to communicate. The understanding is called, also, the intellectual faculty. It is the faculty by means of which we obtain a great part of our knowledge." (W. 1828 dictionary)

The Value of Understanding

     Remember the two distinctive descriptions of value that characterize a virtuous woman and wisdom? Understanding, like wisdom and the virtuous woman, is given the same recognition as having worth that exceeds the value of rubies. 

"Happy is the man...that getteth understanding. For the merchandise 
of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. 
She is more precious than rubies: 

and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Length of 
days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honor. 

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. 
She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one 
that retaineth her." 

(Proverbs 3:13-18)

     It is interesting to note that the only woman in the Bible to have been described as a woman of good understanding was Abigail--the wife of Nabal and, later, King David. "...and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance..." (I Samuel 25:3a) She was in a difficult predicament with a selfish and "churlish" man who had no heart to change. When the king arrived on her doorstep, fuming and ready to avenge himself of one  ill-mannered citizen, it was this beautiful woman of understanding who, not only spared the life of her husband, but also, by her gracious influence and careful persuasion, prevented David, a man after God's own heart, from making a rash and harmful decision that would have been a breach in his reputation. And notice how God took care of the rest. As she endeavored to be a a mediator of peace between two rivals, prudently applying a heart of understanding, this virtuous woman is now known as one of the most renowned representations of how a disaster can be turned into a blessing through understanding. (See I Samuel 25:1-42)  

How Can I Get Understanding?

"The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple." 
(Psalm 119:130)

     Seeking to understand the heart of God through His Word will enable you to understand the hearts of those around you. Without first devoting yourself to deeply know Him, you will never be able to truly understand the people in your sphere of influence. But, as you learn HIS heart, reading His Word and learning to deeply listen to His voice, communing with Him on a daily, moment-by-moment basis, you will then begin to hear the unspoken, see the unseen, and feel the silent implications in the lives you are closest to--you will begin to understand deeply.

"Whence then cometh wisdom?
and where is the place of understanding?
 ...Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom;
and to depart from evil is understanding."
(Job 28:20, 28)

Understanding Applied

"A false witness shall perish: but the man that heareth speaketh constantly." 

(Proverbs 21:28)

     Upon the foundation of the fear of God, wisdom is manifested, and, as wisdom is applied, understanding is nurtured. Like as with wisdom, you must desire to have a heart of understanding; you must be willing to surrender your "rights" of being right and seek to deeply listen to the hearts of those around you. Sincere understanding requires looking beyond yourself and launching into a path not easily trod; it requires a paradigm shift, a look from the perspective of another to recognize their heartfelt needs and the strength to draw them to higher ground. It does not indulge in someone's pity-party, yet it does weep with those who weep. It does not bask in the thrill of gossip, yet it does help to bear the burdens of another. A person with a heart of understanding has the ability to see through the eyes of another, yet also has the outside perspective in order to bring health and harmony. Understanding is not a gift, it is an endeavor.

"In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found." (Proverbs 10:13a)

"A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels: To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings." (Proverbs 1:5-6)

The Three Sisters ~ Wisdom

"And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge..." (Exodus 31:3)

     Let's take a look at one of these three sisters, the first of the three essential keys to thriving relationships--Wisdom. Before moving too far ahead, we must first ask, "What is wisdom?"  

Wisdom ~ The Right Response to Truth

     "Wisdom [is] the right use or exercise of knowledge; the choice of laudable ends, and the best means of accomplishing them. This is wisdom in act, effect, or practice. If wisdom is to be considered as a faculty of the mind, it is the faculty of discerning or judging what is most just, proper and useful, and if it is to be considered as an acquirement, it is the knowledge and use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conducive to prosperity or happiness. Wisdom in the first sense, or practical wisdom, is nearly synonymous with discretion. It differs somewhat from prudence, in this respect; prudence is the exercise of sound judgment in avoiding evils; wisdom is the exercise of sound judgment either in avoiding evils or attempting good."  ~ 1828 Webster Dictionary

Wisdom & A Virtuous Woman

     There are several similarities we have found shared between the descriptions of wisdom and a virtuous woman. Did you know that God bestows the same value to a virtuous woman as He does to wisdom?  One of the richest descriptions of value shared between them is that their price is above rubies.

     "[Wisdom] cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir, with the precious onyx, or the sapphire. The gold and the crystal cannot equal it: and the exchange of it shall not be for jewels of fine gold. No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: 

for the price of wisdom is above rubies." 

(Job 28:16-18)

    "Who can find a virtuous woman? 

for her price is far above rubies?"  

(Proverbs 31:10) 

Could it be that such is the case because a virtuous woman manifests true wisdom?
    
 The second description of value is that they are a crown to those who embrace them.

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, 

when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: 

a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee." 

(Proverbs 4:7-9)

"A virtuous woman is a crown..." 

(Proverbs 12:4a)

     A crown brings honor and admiration to the one it adorns. It is a beautiful symbol of the greater authority it represents. In the case of wisdom, that higher Authority would be God.  For, as it brings grace and honor to the one whom it adorns, it ultimately brings glory to the One Who gives wisdom. 

     A virtuous woman is a crown to her earthly authority, namely her husband. (For those of us who are not married, Proverbs 31:11 states that a virtuous woman will do her husband good ALL the days of her life--she can bring him honor through her wise living even if she has not yet even met him!) However, we can also bring glory to the Kingship of Christ as single young ladies, and part of His diadem, through our wise decisions and actions of discretion. As others see our conversation in wisdom, they will be able to see our King more clearly.   

"Behold, I have taught you statutes and judgments, even as the Lord my 

God commanded me, that ye should do so in the land whither ye go to possess it. 

Keep therefore and do them; for this is your wisdom and your understanding 

in the sight of the nations, which shall hear all these statutes, and say, 

Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people." 

(Deuteronomy 4:5-6) 

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your 

good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." 

(Matthew 5:16)

Where Can I Get Wisdom?

     "But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding? Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living. The depth saith, It is not in me: and the sea saith, It is not with me. It cannot be gotten for gold, neither shall silver be weighed for the price thereof... Whence then cometh wisdom? and where is the place of understanding... And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding." (Job 28:12-15, 20, 28)

     True wisdom can only be found through the fear of the Lord, as discussed in the previous post, An Excellent Spirit. Without a healthy fear of God, without a desire for righteousness, wisdom will be forever out of your reach, though always at your fingertips. Like a young child, who is blindfolded, tries to strike a piñata for the treasure inside, yet he cannot see what it is that he endeavors to aim for and, therefore, he is never quite able to strike his mark successfully, so is a person who attempts to strike the treasure of wisdom, yet is blinded from clearly understanding what it is that he strives for because the fear of God has not removed the blindfold of sin. But, once that blindfold has been removed and the soul begins to view life from the new perspective, responding to his circumstances with the fear of God, he will then be a life into which wisdom can freely enter. 

     "I do fear God," you may say, "And I have a strong desire for wisdom, but I just don't have it." James 1:5-6a answers that by saying,"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering..."  If you are truly walking in the fear of God, and you sincerely desire to know wisdom, then you must bow before the Giver of wisdom and seek to know His heart, asking Him to give you His wisdom, and be open and ready to receive it, for, according to His promise, He will give it to you. As you seek Him with all your heart, endeavoring to make His desires your own, He will give you the discretion and sound judgment you need to make wise decisions and act according to wisdom. 

Wisdom Applied

*You must desire it

     Solomon desired wisdom more than any other thing he could have been given. He longed for the sound judgment necessary to rule his kingdom well. Above riches, fame, popularity, and even his own comfort and well being, he desired that which would help him win the hearts of those under his jurisdiction, something that would enable him to guide the land so that others could thrive, something that would out-live even his own time on earth--and that was what he was given. 

    No one is going to force wisdom upon you. You are not required to have thriving relationships within your home. However, if you do want to have flourishing relationships with those around you, then you must desire wisdom with all your heart, you must want to truly know how to meet the needs of others, even if it means realizing where you are wrong or sacrificing your own comfort. For, if wisdom is not your desire, then wisdom will not help you and nothing that even the wisest person on earth may say will aid you in building lasting relationships.     

*You must exercise it

     King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, made some foolish mistakes. It is not enough to know wisdom--to be aware of every end goal, knowing just how to respond properly in every situation--if we neglect to utilize the wisdom God gives us. If you seek wisdom, God will give it to you, but you must use it.

*Don't waste time  
     Time is short. We never know how long we will be on this earth. There comes a day when wisdom backs off from those who did not heed her and laughs as they crash to their doom. Also, consider this, dear sister; as "forever" as this season in life may seem, we do not know how much longer we have under our father's roof, living with those dear, precious ones who call us "sister". Many a sister has walked away, gone off to college, or gotten married and left scars that will forever ache within the hearts of their siblings. But, if things are going to be different for us, we have to desire a change that will send ripples even farther than just ourselves and our circumstances. We must personally pray, "[Lord], teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

Something "Tangible"

The Wisdom From Above is:

Pure, peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, 
without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever." (Psalm 111:10)

An Excellent Spirit

"He that hath knowledge spareth his words: 
and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit." 
Proverbs 17:27

   Have you ever wondered how Joseph could keep his attitude right all through being hated and completely rejected by his own brothers, sold as a slave because of their pride and greediness; then thrown in prison after being falsely accused and given no fair trial and then forgotten by his only hope of release before he arrived to the position of being second in command over all Egypt? 
 How could Moses lead that whole throng of griping and complaining people through the wilderness for forty years and still have the patience enough to intreat the Lord to spare their lives multiple times when God, Himself, was ready to start over again? 
 What about Daniel? We talk about things getting bad here in America, but Daniel was a captive. None of his family, that we know of, was there with him, probably because they were all killed. He went through four complete government hand-overs and then was thrown in the lion's den because of a rash law that was made... And still, he was known throughout all the kingdom as a man of an excellent spirit!

   We all dream about having that perfect disposition of a big sister who is adored by all who see her, or of that big sister who "never gets in trouble"; the unaffected attitude that can easily roll with the punches, or that we can talk to any time of day about anything and receive encouraging, unassuming guidance and exhortation. And nothing is so inspiring than seeing a person who is of an excellent spirit despite the chaos and troubles around. What exactly is it that makes that so idealistically attracting? And why does it seem forever unattainable?

   The reason is this: satan is the father of lies and he is so cunning in deceiving us into believing that every good and perfect gift is completely out of our reach, and we've already blown it anyways... therefore there's no hope even trying to match up and amount to anything in our own family. True success can only happen "out there". So, may as well send our siblings on their way (because they won't listen to us anyway) and not weary ourselves over trying to meet their criteria of being a big sister to them. 

   But before we get too caught up in that train of thought, let's take a moment to consider a few things: If we are born again into the kingdom of Christ, redeemed by His atoning death on the cross and received into the family of God as heirs of God through Christ, then He has given us "all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these [we] might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." (1 Peter 1:3b-4). We have been given the grace and strength to soar above the "normal" state of captivity into the marvelous freedom of walking with Christ. As our relationship with Him is strengthened, so will be the other relationships He brings into our lives and He will take us by the hand and teach us to nurture them as He nourishes us.

   That's a mouthful to read, and a stake to chew on, so let's take a deeper look into how our relationship with Christ affects our relationships with others. We really do desire to have strong, thriving relationships with those He has placed in our lives, and we do long to be the sisters we know we ought to be, but where do we start?       

     If you are familiar with gardening, you would recognize this term as essential to the strength of all plants: The root system. This is what obtains the majority of nutrients and gives the plant stability. In our lives, the tap-root in this root system to spiritual growth is the fear of the Lord:

 "And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom;

and to depart from evil is understanding." (Job 28:28)

 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: 

but fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7)

   The fear of the Lord is not being scared of God. Imagine that you were suddenly placed on a tight-rope walk 200 feet in the air, with nothing more than a small cord connecting you to the anchor rope that extended above where you stood. Some may identify more than others, but consider that you had a fear of heights. Would it be the high rope you stood upon that made you afraid? No; your fear of heights would not be directed at the place of hight, but at the ground. You would be afraid of even thinking of the possibility of slipping from where you were anchored and crashing in a devastating heap on the hard ground situated quite opposite from your perch. So is one that has the fear of God. She is not scared of God, but rather shudders at even the thought of slipping away from Him, for she knows that her life would surely end in destruction. 

   So, how do I get the fear of God? Take heed to the words of the wisest man on earth, King Solomon: 

 "My [daughter], if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God."  (Proverbs 2:1-5)

   You must come to the place of knowing that you don't have it all put together, and you must set your heart to seek Him with everything in you. You must purposefully search for God. Then, you must soften your heart to hear what He says. And when you have found Him and have made Him your hearts abode, then He will teach you what it is to walk in a manner that will glorify Him and edify others--He will instruct you in wisdom, understanding, and knowledge. 

   These three sisters -- Wisdom, Understanding, and Knowledge -- are the three keys that open the door to having flourishing relationships with others. And having them will enable us to be people of excellent spirits. In the next three posts, we will be covering each of these three keys individually, and asking God to open our eyes and hearts to see others the way He sees them. He is the giver of life, therefore He holds the secrets of how to live it. 

"The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him;

and he will show them his covenant." (Psalm 25:14)

"For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly. He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints. Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path." (Proverbs 2:6-9)     

In His Diadem

  In His Diadem is a blog designed specifically for young ladies journeying through life. A diadem is not just any type of crown, but it is one that most ornately adorns the head of a sovereign. Unlike a typical crown, a diadem is set with precious jewels of costly value. 

     Proverbs 31:10 says, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Rubies are one of the most valuable, most expensive of gems. The writer of this passage likens the value of such gems to the value of a virtuous woman. Not only are they hard to find,  but they are not easy to be, and those who set out to be one must pay a price that requires giving up much that this world has to offer. 

     As virtuous women, like precious gems set within the diadem of our Sovereign and Lord, Jesus Christ, we have the privilege and vital responsibility to be a part of the visible adornment that will proclaim to the world the majesty of our King through the testimony of our lives. Yet, while we are here on earth, the Lord has established pictures through our physical relationships and interactions that are just samples of the heavenly reality. 

     Those pictures are displayed through our relationships with our earthly fathers, our brothers, and, should the Lord will that we marry someday, with our husbands. Just as we adorn the diadem of our Heavenly King, we also hold a priceless responsibility to bring honor and respect to the men God has placed in our lives--whether that be our 5-year old little brother, or our 95-year old grandfather--through our conduct of virtue, grace, and purity. This is not an easy task, but being a woman whose price exceededs that of rubies is not a cheep achievement.

     We are two sisters, Anna and Elisabeth. This journey of virtuous womanhood is a road we are still treading ourselves, and we do not even pretend to claim to have it all figured out. However, as the Lord is teaching us what it is to be in His diadem, we desire to pass on the truths we learn from His Word so that you, too, might grow in the grace of our Savior.   
   
   It is a journey. But, by His grace, we can shine as lights in this dark world, richly sparkling forth the beauty of His holiness through our conduct of purity, faith, and charity. May you, dear sister, be challenged, inspired, and encouraged as you learn, with us, what it is to declare His glory in our everyday lives.

In His Diadem,
Anna & Elisabeth