A dear friend of mine sent me this message from her heart recently. As I was reading it, the thought crossed my mind, "So many young ladies face this same struggle--as myself--yet, so many are hesitant to share because of fear that they are the only ones in this boat." She has agreed to share this testimony with you, and I pray that, as you read it, your heart will be encouraged in the goodness, mercy, and loving sovereignty of our Heavenly Father. Indeed, sometimes His best answer of all is "wait".
“Wait on Me”
I was walking along the road one day with
the Lord, grumbling about this and that, feeling so frustrated that He didn’t
seem to be listening. I had asked for so
many things, and it seemed He’d given me none.
Nothing I’d hoped or asked for had come to pass. “Why, Lord?!” I cried. “Just wait,” He replied as He led me on a
little farther.
I tried to be content just walking along
quietly, trying to smile to hide the pain and anger inside. Finally, in desperation I cried out again,
“Why, Lord?!” He said, yet again, “Just
wait and trust Me.”
I kept on, silent for a while, telling
myself I really was happy and preaching to myself all the right things I knew
in my head. Before long I felt the
turmoil sweep over me again. Unable to
hold my peace I cried out again. “Why,
Lord?! I don’t understand Your plan!
I’ve kept on faithfully, walking close by Your side; I’m doing all the
right things. Why can’t I have what I’ve
asked for? It’s a good thing I desire,
Lord. Why must I wait longer? Lord, I don’t understand! You say to ask and I’ll receive. So I’ve asked, but I’ve not received that
which my heart longs for so greatly!
Have You not heard? Lord, I don’t understand!” With which I crumbled to the ground in tears,
filled with the pain and frustration of feeling alone and misunderstood.
As I lay there weeping, I felt His strong
arms wrap around me and lift me from my place of despair, defeat, and
anguish. He held me close and wept with
me first, not saying a word. He then
looked into my eyes, and as my gaze met His, I saw within Him a pain that
reached deeper than mine, a love that erased my fears and sorrows, a peace that
wrapped my soul in unexplainable calmness.
In that moment I saw Him take my burdens and lay them upon Himself. I looked up again into His face and took in
the compassion His eyes held.
With a smile He wiped away my tears and
then spoke. “My dear child, I’ve seen
everything you’ve done for Me. I’ve seen
how you’ve faithfully stuck by My side through at times your heart seemed far
away. I’ve also heard your every plea,
your every cry. I see within your heart
every dream and hope and desire. You say
I haven’t given you any of those things you long for so deeply. My child, it’s not out of spite or anger that
I withhold those things. I say not,
‘Wait,’ to punish you but rather to give you something far greater. I have a plan and though you cannot see it
right now, I’ll reveal it to you one step at a time. Day by day I will lead you through My perfect
will for your life. Trust Me though hard
it may be to see through the clouds of despair and tears of
disappointment. I will never leave you
or forsake you, and in my perfect time I will give you not only what you
desire, but so much more. I long to
shower you with blessings and everything your heart desires, but first you must
trust Me!”
He took my hand and said then, “Follow
Me,” and we looked back over my life.
“See how far I’ve brought you? If
I’d given you your heart’s desire then,” pointing to a time several years
earlier when I’d earnestly prayed for the fulfillment of my dreams, “you would
have missed so much! For one, you
wouldn’t have learned the value of leaning on my strength in your times of
weakness. You’d not know the comfort and
peace I bring to a troubled soul. I am
preparing you right now for the fulfillment of your dreams and desires. So, right now I want you to continue
faithfully walking close by my side and trust my perfect timing. Remember, I have a plan that’s far greater
than anything you could ever imagine!
Though the enemy may plant seeds of despair in your heart, press on in
faith, and someday you’ll look back and see the purpose of this time of
waiting. Rely on Me, and you will see
that I’ll bring you through this trying time.
I’ve brought you through every other time, and I will continue to do so
as you rely on my strength and walk close by my side.”
I looked up at Him, my eyes brimming with
tears of joy and my heart full of peace.
Ready to press on again, my hand in His, we turned to press forward on
our journey through life.
In time I did see the truth of what He’d
said that day. No, it wasn’t easy to be
patient. There were still plenty of days
I lost hope, began to doubt, and cried out in despair, but He gently reminded
me of all that He taught me on that day.
He’d take me on His knee with His arms around me, weep with me, and then
remind me again of His love for me. “I
love you, my child, no matter what—my love is everlasting! Nothing can ever change my love for you.”
I’m beginning to learn as I journey
through life that waiting on the Lord is a constant thing. It doesn’t end as soon as one desire is
fulfilled. God does this to keep me
relying on Him. And every time I look
back over my life I see, hard as it is at the time, His plan really is always
best—exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think and so much better than
I could ever imagine!
~ Hannah
