A dear friend of mine sent me this message from her heart recently. As I was reading it, the thought crossed my mind, "So many young ladies face this same struggle--as myself--yet, so many are hesitant to share because of fear that they are the only ones in this boat." She has agreed to share this testimony with you, and I pray that, as you read it, your heart will be encouraged in the goodness, mercy, and loving sovereignty of our Heavenly Father. Indeed, sometimes His best answer of all is "wait".
“Wait on Me”
I was walking along the road one day with the Lord, grumbling about this and that, feeling so frustrated that He didn’t seem to be listening. I had asked for so many things, and it seemed He’d given me none. Nothing I’d hoped or asked for had come to pass. “Why, Lord?!” I cried. “Just wait,” He replied as He led me on a little farther.
I tried to be content just walking along quietly, trying to smile to hide the pain and anger inside. Finally, in desperation I cried out again, “Why, Lord?!” He said, yet again, “Just wait and trust Me.”
I kept on, silent for a while, telling myself I really was happy and preaching to myself all the right things I knew in my head. Before long I felt the turmoil sweep over me again. Unable to hold my peace I cried out again. “Why, Lord?! I don’t understand Your plan! I’ve kept on faithfully, walking close by Your side; I’m doing all the right things. Why can’t I have what I’ve asked for? It’s a good thing I desire, Lord. Why must I wait longer? Lord, I don’t understand! You say to ask and I’ll receive. So I’ve asked, but I’ve not received that which my heart longs for so greatly! Have You not heard? Lord, I don’t understand!” With which I crumbled to the ground in tears, filled with the pain and frustration of feeling alone and misunderstood.
As I lay there weeping, I felt His strong arms wrap around me and lift me from my place of despair, defeat, and anguish. He held me close and wept with me first, not saying a word. He then looked into my eyes, and as my gaze met His, I saw within Him a pain that reached deeper than mine, a love that erased my fears and sorrows, a peace that wrapped my soul in unexplainable calmness. In that moment I saw Him take my burdens and lay them upon Himself. I looked up again into His face and took in the compassion His eyes held.
With a smile He wiped away my tears and then spoke. “My dear child, I’ve seen everything you’ve done for Me. I’ve seen how you’ve faithfully stuck by My side through at times your heart seemed far away. I’ve also heard your every plea, your every cry. I see within your heart every dream and hope and desire. You say I haven’t given you any of those things you long for so deeply. My child, it’s not out of spite or anger that I withhold those things. I say not, ‘Wait,’ to punish you but rather to give you something far greater. I have a plan and though you cannot see it right now, I’ll reveal it to you one step at a time. Day by day I will lead you through My perfect will for your life. Trust Me though hard it may be to see through the clouds of despair and tears of disappointment. I will never leave you or forsake you, and in my perfect time I will give you not only what you desire, but so much more. I long to shower you with blessings and everything your heart desires, but first you must trust Me!”
He took my hand and said then, “Follow Me,” and we looked back over my life. “See how far I’ve brought you? If I’d given you your heart’s desire then,” pointing to a time several years earlier when I’d earnestly prayed for the fulfillment of my dreams, “you would have missed so much! For one, you wouldn’t have learned the value of leaning on my strength in your times of weakness. You’d not know the comfort and peace I bring to a troubled soul. I am preparing you right now for the fulfillment of your dreams and desires. So, right now I want you to continue faithfully walking close by my side and trust my perfect timing. Remember, I have a plan that’s far greater than anything you could ever imagine! Though the enemy may plant seeds of despair in your heart, press on in faith, and someday you’ll look back and see the purpose of this time of waiting. Rely on Me, and you will see that I’ll bring you through this trying time. I’ve brought you through every other time, and I will continue to do so as you rely on my strength and walk close by my side.”
I looked up at Him, my eyes brimming with tears of joy and my heart full of peace. Ready to press on again, my hand in His, we turned to press forward on our journey through life.
In time I did see the truth of what He’d said that day. No, it wasn’t easy to be patient. There were still plenty of days I lost hope, began to doubt, and cried out in despair, but He gently reminded me of all that He taught me on that day. He’d take me on His knee with His arms around me, weep with me, and then remind me again of His love for me. “I love you, my child, no matter what—my love is everlasting! Nothing can ever change my love for you.”
I’m beginning to learn as I journey through life that waiting on the Lord is a constant thing. It doesn’t end as soon as one desire is fulfilled. God does this to keep me relying on Him. And every time I look back over my life I see, hard as it is at the time, His plan really is always best—exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think and so much better than I could ever imagine!